Emergency Blog: Jeff Faulters BIG TIME

After dinner, a family that lives a few houses down came over for a little chat. There children, ages 5 and 8, were running around, having a gay-ole time. They were checking out the rocks, trying to catch fish, generally being happy little children.

And then Jeff came outside. He said (in a creepy come get my candy voice) "hey chase me. come get me!!". The little one, Paige, said "NO" and continued to play with her brother. Jeff kept trying to make them chase him, until a brilliant light went off in his head.....wait a minute, I'll chase them. Forty pound Paige didn't know what hit her when 5'9", 180 Jeff came running after her. Paige, SPRINTED to her mother crying, "He scares me! I want to go home NOW". My mom was dying laughing. My dad went to get a beer. The poor mother grabbed her children and left (not happy might I add). Jeff continues to ask the brother "why do I scare her? Hey you, why did I scare your sister?"

Sometimes Jeff, less is more.

I'm not really sure how to post videos/hyperlinks. But you really must watch this. PLEASE go here.

My brother (William Emmett Wishart IV) sat me down to show me something that "reminded him of Jeff". I was skeptical; but once again my little brother is right. Please tell me if this Jeff.

WATCH ME!( yes, click here, its not a virus. Its just youtube)

And the Battle Rages...

Jeff could probably write this post better than I could. This was a classic interaction between Jeff and my Mother that left him wondering "why doesn't everyone treat me like a prince". I am happy to report though that after this happened, they sort of bonded. My dad and I think they came to a silent, mutual position of WTF.

Jeff "So Mrs. Wishart, I'm really enjoying living here..." this opening line may be made up. All I know is that Jeff and I were sitting around in the kitchen, enjoying a glass of Root 1. He tried to initiate conversation with my mom. Please insert any useless sentence as an opening liner.

Judy "Well Jeff that's good. You know I'm not thrilled about you living here"

Jeff "I understand but its just temporary"

And now, my sweet mother, puts down her pen and paper and looks Jeffrey directly in the eye

Judy "You know, I was happy when you and Laura broke up. In fact, I told her to not get back with you. Date, see what else is out there. I still tell her that. Should be looking around. That is how I feel about this whole thing".

BOTH Jeff and I were bamboozled. With this, she picks back up her pen and continues to grade her sweet little Fourth grader's spelling tests, complete with smiles and stickers. I just sat there stunned. Poor Jeff gulped his wine in one swift sip.

Welcome to the monkey house.

Bush v. Lehrman

My father called me out of studying to walk me half way around our block. He really wanted to show me a bumper-sticker.

It said "somewhere in Texas, a village is missing their idiot". My dad thought this was the funniest thing he has ever read.